Modern day dating has not been pro-love and unity as it strongly was once upon a time. Times have changed and so has the concept of dating.
Below we will explore…
- Dating in 2020
- Relationship issues
- Women being fed up with men
- Men fed up with women
- Toxic relationship traits
- What happy current relationships consists of
- Reduce dating anxiety
Dating in 2020
Current day dating is much different than it used to be. The concepts of courtship, affection, showing interest, and unity in a partnership still stand.
However, the ways in which people meet, how they treat each other, what they tolerate has shifted just as societal norms and traditions have.
For one thing, it wasn’t too long ago that gay marriages or affection for that matter, was completely disregarded and looked down upon.
Not to say that there still isn’t discrimination, but we have come a long way from where we were in society to where we stand today. People don’t have to pretend to like the same sex or force themselves to be with them to gain acceptance by society, family and friends.
This is one of the good things that modern day dating has shown us, to be truly free to love who we love without the need to live a double life, hiding our emotions.
You can love someone of a different race, sex, culture and religion and have more acceptance than there ever was previously. Although struggles still stand for many, there is a definite shift to a more positive dating experience for majority.
It has also been beneficial for the female gender, as women had little to no say years ago and had to be physically abused if they did not act accordingly based on their husbands perception.
Once again, these issues still occur but with much more support to put an end to the abuse and inequality, and less tolerance by women to put up with it.
On the other spectrum, some things have gotten worse in the dating realm with our tolerance for certain things shrinking rapidly.
People seem to not want to tolerate anything anymore and are quick to leave a partner whenever an issue does occur, whether major or minor.
Based on human beings’ reputation of discrimination, abuse, hardships and dysfunction in relationships and love, the fight against these negative notions has made us hypersensitive to our feelings. So much so that perhaps we may be caring too much to allow love and commitment to occur.
Divorce rates have been on the rise for years and have now actually tapered off, not due to the fact that people are not divorcing but that they are choosing not to marry in the first place.
People have become scared of commitment and with the digital age of infinite options in the palm of your hand with little to no effort on your end, the possibilities seem endless, why settle?
We are also in an era where the pressure to marry off young has been pushed down a couple years as women are now working just like men, and people are living longer.
A 30-year old 40 years ago is different from a 30-year old in today’s society. You have more options and access to resources that you can create any life that you want and don’t have to settle into one.
There is a more youthful nature to adults that were considered too old to get married once upon a time. As we connect with the rest of the world and can explore our dating options, we can explore our educational, work, life, travel, and living options and trends that many younger people, influencers, and trend setters are following as well.
No one wants to feel left behind in life and feel old and the internet age can quickly put you in your place to make you feel as such. With the chasing of likes and approval, we all want to be respected and liked by everyone even though it is not a true reality.
The relationship issues that stand today are that everybody is fed up, regardless if they have had much experience in dating or not.
With the millennial generation in the current dating and mating scene, this is a generation that was taught to be kind and to love and care and are therefore more caring than other previous generations.
Millenials care about the environment, for people less fortunate, disabled, the animals, and everything else in between.
There is a sense of empathy for the most part and they have the unlimited resources to see things and learn about things that can open their eyes to situations to be able to care as such.
With that caring comes a fear of commitment, settling down with anything, not just relationships, and a fear of getting yourself hurt and looking like a fool.
It is much easier to look like a fool in a world of media and social media where someone can expose you and where people are prying on your day to day life circumstances.
Also, speaking of social media, that partner that is no longer a love interest will always be there for you to search up and see which did not exist once upon a time.
Making it harder to move past a heart break and heal. With that, social media comes many other dating problems that have never existed before too and ethical rules we must learn.
What is considered acceptable or cheating in a world of social media where a like on picture can send your partner spiraling in range, is something we are still figuring out.
Where a conversation with someone else can happen a click away. Where people can spend hours on the online world and be next to their partner and speak very little to them.
Realistically, there is much more of a thought process and sometimes overthinking in choosing a partner and giving your heart out that is creating a lot of hidden anxiety for current relationships. There are more factors to consider than there once was.
Women fed up with men:
Women are fed up with men for the reason that they do not want a non trustworthy partner that will be online and prying on all the beautiful women on social media.
Women can easily feel insecure regardless of how beautiful they may be as realistically this comes down to genetics.
Women and including female animal species are made to be the most attractive to pursue a man so that he will choose her to mate. The man on the other hand is a visual creature and when he sees a beautiful woman, temptation is always there.
Women also have entered the working field and the expectation for them to work a full time job just as a man and still take on all the house and child responsibilities boggles my mind.
Women get burnt out and do not want to take care of another individual such as their husbands because they don’t have the time they once had being a home-maker.
With the me too movement on the rise and the essence of female empowerment, women want and, know they can, be boss females in life and be completely self-sufficient, make lots of money, and do everything on their own.
Some female empowerment that exists today is on the basis of previous generational norms that women are afraid to fall back into. Once you taste freedom and power, why would you want to ever tarnish that feeling.
Men fed up with women:
Men on the other hand are also fed up with women as well. It was hard for a man to be the sole provider for the household for so many years.
Work, regardless of what you do is still work and not play time. It gets stressful and tiring and the last thing you want is to come home to someone that is feeling just as miserable as you.
With that, for an average household that does not have a nanny service, that means the women are not taking on as much of the household responsibilities, many of these females which in today’s society, do not know how to cook or clean and the men are getting burnt out from doing these somewhat foreign to them tasks.
Cost of living is much more expensive than it used to be and therefore working to the bone has become a norm. The pressure for a man to provide to a standard that seems almost impossible in today’s day and age, continues as this also comes down to genetics.
A man will always feel like a man once he is able to provide for his family and if he cannot, he will hear it form his wife and that is the last thing he wants.
Why settle and hear bickering when there are infinite number of women that require very little effort to achieve with online dating.
A man used to have to get dressed up, step out in town, find a woman, impress her, and now he can be in the comfort of his own home doing the same thing. In fact, there are even apps where the woman is to message a man first and therefore he has to do even less in finding a suitable mate.
Many men are scared that women will take them for all they have. Men run majority of the highest paying jobs to this day and especially with the cost of living in today’s day, gold digging continues to be on the rise.
With the divorce rates so high, a woman can take all of what you have without having to work a single hour, just because she was your wife. With women getting more rights than ever before, many woman are using this to their advantage to use a man to get paid.
Toxic relationship Traits
Because we are in such a feeling era where emotions and mental illness and anxiety are on a high, many toxic traits and unhealthy relationship tactics exist.
Common toxic traits that exist in modern day dating to look out for include…
- Gaslighting: This is a form of emotional abuse where a partner manipulates the other to think they are crazy in order to regain control. With women now becoming equal to their male counterparts, this is more evident as each partner fights to take charge of the household.
- Cheating or lack of trust: Cheating was always a dating issue due to the break in trust however, it is easier to have access to someone new now making cheating more accessible.
- Narcism: In a world revolving around us thinking we are special, and growing up believing we can be anything we want, the notion of believing we are great and needing constant praise and attention, regardless of what it takes to achieve it exists too.
This is a bully tactic from a partner in order to regain control as well as manipulate their partner in order to achieve some success that they have imagined in their mind without implementing any of the work to earn it.
The empathy for their partners feelings is not evident and adds to further strife. Relationships can never be one sided, it can only work if it is 50/50.
- Physical abuse: Although not as evident as previous years, some abusive relationships continue to exist especially with mental health issues on such forefront.
- Taking advantage for their own benefit: When someone makes more withdraws in your life than deposits, the relationship is one sided and is not based on love as much as it is based on needs and convenience for one of the individuals in the relationship.
- No improvements to standards of living: That is continuously struggling to try to make ends meet and being unable to rely on your partner.
You don’t have to be a CEO but if you are trying and hustling to be able to provide for your family, that is enough to get your partners appreciation because people want to see effort.
Growth is crucial and is what life is about, if growth does not continue, it will hurt the relationship.
- Feeling emotionally drained all the time: If you feel like your partner is continuously draining you of your energy rather than uplifting and motivating you for the better, then they are realistically just putting themselves down and dragging you down with them.
- Continuous hostility: If someone is unhappy is a relationship or have hardships and work, financial, life issues, they will not be in the best mood and will create a hostile environment which is never pleasant to be in.
- Lack of communication: Communication is key in a relationship and with so much technology existing, it is more important than ever to effectively communicate to your loved ones.
If communication does not exist and tactics like avoidance of issues to prevent a fight, or letting things slide become a habit, it will eventually ruin the relationship.
- Drama: No one wants drama in their life and although it can exist at times, if it is constant it will become draining.
- Disrespect: Whether that entails undermining, manipulating, belittling or any other negative notion, it is showing disrespect for your partner.
Once a relationship is well seasoned and you are used to this persons’ presence, it is easy to get annoyed with them and put them down when you are upset or even put blame on them.
Happy Current Relationships
Happy relationships still exist and can exist. If there is a mutual understanding between partners on expectation and effective communication on all needs and goals, a healthy relationship can exist. Living with anyone, not just a partner, can get under your nerves sometimes.
People don’t want to deal with other people and issues anymore. Love is not a romantic comedy, a relationship gets real and real life situations happen where you have to work through them with your partner.
People find it easier to distance themselves or put blame on each other rather than communicating their needs.
Compromise also has to occur as being in a relationship you will not get everything you want or need. Just like having children means giving up some things you loved or do less of, like partying, smoking, and sleeping around because you love your child and you want to provide for them, relationships need the same sacrifices.
Relationships naturally make these sacrifices when you love someone. Focus on goals together and always put in the effort to support your partner and grow with them.
Don’t let life situations come between you two, formulate a plan to overcome it. Take time for yourselves, do things you loved and spend time together as well as doing things you like independently.
When you realize that your partner is your coworker in life, that you feed off each other to get through life difficulties through support, encouragement, companionship, love, planning and goal setting, you can see the beauty of a relationship.
Life is hard and having someone that is 100% on your side and ready to help you along the way makes it a little less hard.
Reduce Dating Anxiety
Dating can bring about lots of anxiety, and in modern day even more so. With your relationship critiqued and viewed by everyone you know online, how can it not.
The way to handle modern day dating anxiety is like any other anxiety, through various trials and tribulations of natural treatment options listed HERE.
There is no easy path or one way avenue to anxiety treatment, but initiative must be taken before anxiety takes over your life and eventually ruins your relationships.