Anxiety was always something that was not discussed as much with men as it is with women. Men throughout history were not to feel emotions and therefore not to feel anxiety.
Hence, things such as anxiety and depression were not explored enough even though men feel it too. Although it affects women more than men, certain factors bring upon anxiety in men as well.
Areas of topic that will be explored are as follows…
- Anxiety and men correlation
- Anxiety symptoms in men
- The Fear of Coming out as a gay man
- Male sexual performance and manly hood
- Work and finances
- Anxiety in men over 50 or more mature
- What’s next? coping and the future
Anxiety and Men: Exploring the Unfamiliar
Although anxiety is more prominent in women with women being twice as likely as men to develop anxiety, it is still seen in men as well.
Could the main reason for the difference be that men’s anxiety, has not been talked about openly as it has been for women? It was always a man’s duty to be strong and not show emotion throughout time.
Maybe the reason anxiety is more prominent in women is that is is discussed more. There are various life changes that men go through that have brought bouts of anxiety.
Experiencing an erection and wet dreams at such a young age, fear of settling down, dating and sexual intercourse, raising kids, aging, midlife crisis, growing weaker and death are all changes in a man’s life that can be hard to overcome.
Although anxiety can develop, depression can develop as well, as men hold on to their feelings internally. This is why men are more likely to follow through with a successful suicide attempt than women.
Yes, women are more likely than men to develop depression and anxiety, but men fall heavier under its rage. It affects a man more, as women have shown to be the more resilient sex.
Several factors that contribute to men’s anxiety are to be discussed further. These key points demonstrate higher anxiety issues for men than any other points in the male daily life. However, anxiety and depression can happen regardless of how these life events are handled and regardless of age.
Anxiety Symptoms and Men
A comprehensive list of anxiety symptoms can be seen <<<<<HERE>>>>>. Anxiety Symptoms do not discriminate and can be seen in which ever age group, sex, ethnicity, and/or race that you are in. However, some particular male dominant anxiety symptoms are as follows…
- Frequent headaches and migraines
- Insomnia and trouble sleeping
- Abuse of alcohol or drugs
- Withdrawn, not engaging in conversation
- Zoning out, not listening
- Relationship problems including spouse, family, friends, and coworkers
- Obsess over status, work, finances
- Increased ego, comparing to others or putting other men down
- Easily annoyed by little things
- Critical of spouse’s every move
- Digestive issues, upset stomach
- Secretive of feelings, avoids discussion of feelings and issues
When a man comes out openly about being gay, it is one of the hardest points in his life. Although it is hard for anyone, it affects gay men more than women.
It is less accepted for men and less normalized. Even bisexual men deal with these issues more than lesbian or bisexual women.
Homosexual women are more accepted as it is seen more frequently. Straight women can be seen kissing other girls and men enjoy it too.
Lesbian porn is one of the leading searches in porn history. It is seen as attractive. Women are supposed to be attractive as to lure men in for reproduction by science.
Men on the other hand are looked down upon when coming out as gay. A man is supposed to be masculine, strong, protective, and able to reproduce with multiple women. Womanization has been a quest and rewarded for so many years.
Somehow, the idea that a gay man loses all these qualities and that he is less of a man when he is gay, has become a common thinking. What difference does a mans sexual preference make on his manhood?
Although people’s sexual preference has been more accepted now than ever before, and continues to be approved and accepted, it is still one of the scariest and most nerve wrecking things to do.
Dave Chappelle poked fun in his special Sticks and Stones which was filmed in Atlanta, and commented on all the gay men that came to the show with their wives.
This shows that even still, men are choosing a life of secrecy rather than living their true self, due to the stigma that unfortunately still comes with the process.
Hopefully people can further advance as we don’t have to castracize people for who they choose to love.
We don’t have to give others mental health, anxiety, and depression issues because of their sexual preferences.
We can learn to ease the process and avoid building unnecessary anxiety disorders from our own doing. Coming out is hard but the anxiety and trauma one lives with for years to come is sometimes even harder.
Male Performance Anxiety
Young boys coming into puberty and young men as well, can experience a lot of anxiety in sexual performance and dating tactics. It was always looked upon for men to woo their partners and win over a woman’s heart.
It was expected for many years that the man was to approach the woman he was interested in, perform sexually for her and ask her hand in marriage.
Experiencing erections and wet dreams at such a young age, something people can physically see, can bring anxiety early on in life.
This is something others can see this and poke fun at but, a young man is in little control of when they occur and how to stop it.
This can lead to anxiety of not knowing when it will happen and fearing people will bully and harass him.
Fast-forward to teenage years when a guy may or may not experiment sexually with a partner, in a man’s peak sexual arousal phase, the pressure to perform can cause anxiety as well.
This pressure continues to last for a long time in men. For whatever reason, it is almost expected that a man knows what he is doing in the bedroom without previous experience.
It is once again more accepted for a woman to not know, and in fact more appreciated, as virginity is embraced in women.
However, men are expected to know everything about pleasing a woman, condoms, birth control, and the woman’s body.
These fears on performance can linger for many years and possibly refrain guys from having sexual encounters with a partner to avoid any poor performance possibilities.
All in all, this takes a toll on a man’s confidence and mating process. It can be difficult to date when worrying about how you are stacking up the whole time.
The truth is that women’s bodies are complex and so are the things that turn a woman on. The same method that worked on one relationship may not work for another. It is easier for men as they get an erection and are more easily stimulated in order for reproduction to occur.
However, a woman may not ever experience an orgasm or, may experience it from something out of the ordinary. It is something to be explored and discussed with your partner.
Later into manhood, sexual performance can still pose an issue. As men need an erection in order to have sexual intercourse, with aging that erection may not happen or may be difficult to maintain.
Men feel like they lose their manhood if they cannot perform and maintain an erection. However, this is a normal part of life. There are medical advancements for these issues as well if needed.
Work and Finances
As men have been the sole providers throughout history, up until the last few decades, work and providing financially has become part of a man’s duty.
Men feel complete when they work and can provide for their families. Men are defined as providers and protectors.
When Financial issues takes a toll on their marriages, It makes men feel as though they are not competent. Sometimes jealousy occurs if their significant other is a woman and is making more money than them.
Without work and financial stability, men feel as though they have no purpose, and that is when a lot of anxiety can occur as well as depression.
If you take a moment to focus on your finances and not consuming more than your needs, financial issues can be avoided.
Taking a moment to track all expenses and keeping on top of spending can really go a long way.
Also, as a man you are not alone if you are in a relationship as both parties provide and, must maintain communication on financial goals and spending.
Anxiety in Men Over 50
Aging is inevitable yet still scares most people over the age of 30. The idea of getting old and weak, and than dying, is not an easy pill to swallow.
As men were revered as strong, and the definition of a man was strength, losing that strength due to illnesses and sickness, natural bodily deterioration, and erectile dysfunction, it is no wonder a lot of men develop anxiety in the middle age.
At around 40 and older, midlife crisis also occurs for some, affecting men more than women. Men tend to act irrationally in this time, trying to hold on to a younger version of themselves. Perhaps, they may start going to the gym, buying a motorcycle, muscle car, and even going out to town and enjoying the nightlife just to name a few examples.
Although aging can be scary at times, it is important to remember that there is beauty and pleasure in each stage in life. 50’s are a great time of fulfillment too.
There is great depth and knowledge to you, kids are most likely grown, retirement is approaching and all those dreaded years of hard work are coming to an end, and you have developed a loss of care for the opinions of others of you as you live your life unapologetically you,
The other thing to remember is that you are not alone, it is something that everyone passes through in their life and it is inevitable for aging to occur. You are as old as you feel.
Some people get to that age and feel content with their lives, they feel as though they are still 30 because they maintain a youthful mentality.
Life is not a to do list, we are all different and different things make us happy. Do what makes you happy and brings you joy daily.
Coping and Conclusion: Where to Next
A good comprehensive list of coping mechanisms can be found <<<<<HERE>>>>>.
Coping is possible and needed if you are feeling anxiety as a man. Men have more successful suicide attempts than women do, even though women have more depression and anxiety.
With anxiety comes bouts of depression too. Depression and anxiety intertwine with one another and feed each other the fuel needed to exist.
This is why men need to learn to be more open with their feelings. To get help and talk to someone is very important. Bottling up such negative emotions has shown only to be fatal and critical. It hurts relationships, health, daily living, and can cost a life.
There are numerous coping methods and tactics, ranging from herbs, therapies, lifestyle changes, and every day tasks.
If you are a man and are not ready to discuss your signs of anxiety and want to take matters into your own hands first. This list below is a great start.