Self confidence is a hard thing to master for most people and almost never accomplished for most people in their lifetime. It is not something that only beautiful people can have, anyone can experience it with practice and self reflection.
Below we discuss…
- Why do I lack self-confidence?
- How to Improve self Confidence
- Anxiety and its toll on self-esteem
- Natural anxiety reducers and self-confidence boosters
Causes of Lack of Self Confidence
A lack of self-love results in a lack of confidence. Love is a beautiful concept. We learn from birth to love those closest to us from our parents, to siblings, to extended family.
As we grow and develop and create relationships with people, we learn to love friends and significant others and even pets. Some of this love is effortless and internal and some, takes a little time, patience, work, and trust to build.
Overall, we learn to love. Love people, love things, love places, love hobbies and interests. Why throughout all of this spreading of love, do we find it the most difficult to love ourselves? Why are we our own biggest critics?
This mostly stems from being told that you are not worthy from a young age and years after. When you listen to even those that you love, such as parents, to those that don’t mean anything in your life such as strangers, basically tell you, you can’t accomplish something, you cannot do something, and every other notion revolving around not being capable, you psychologically believe it.
This lack of self-love has been built up for years that you start to believe it. You start to question your thoughts, ideas, looks, actions, and let self-doubt build and grow. Of course, we hear this negative criticism from strangers such as on social media but, sometimes that criticism stems from those closest to you.
If there is one thing to note on human nature it is that people are jealous. Although we learn as children not be envious, to love, be kind, and listen to god and not fall victim to these sins and follow the 10 commandments, yet it is so heavily embedded into our nature.
There is something about human nature that makes us be critical of anyone doing better than ourselves even if we do not admit it. Whether that is from better looks, fitter body, more attention, nicer clothes, cars and other materialistic things, to lifestyle and the way one carries themselves.
People love to see you do well in life, but never better than them. If you possess something that an onlooker wishes to achieve, even if you are not the best looking person but possess confidence, that person will have something negative to say.
People bring others down by making rude remarks and using bullying tactics when they are jealous of someone else’s accomplishments. It’s important to remember those negative remarks are just the result of that individual’s insecurity and to remember to keep doing what your doing.
Lack of confidence is a result of excessive worry leading to anxiety about how others perceive you. We learn to worry from years of being put down by loved ones, haters, and society on the things we are trying to do, accomplish, wear, look and even think.
We are overvaluing the opinions of those that have not achieved great success, great strength, great hustle, great physics, and great skill set. If they are the same page as you if not worse, how can their opinion on your life mean anything to you?
How to Have Self Confidence
Boosting self-confidence is no easy task. It took years of questioning yourself to get your confidence down and it will take great effort to bring it back up. Ways to increase self-confidence include…
- Don’t listen to others opinion, their opinions don’t control your life and that includes opinion from family
- Remember we all have insecurities and if someone is unhappy about a part of their life, they will hate you for achieving it (negativity and judgment towards others shows lack of self-confidence)
- Remember happiness comes from within and a truly happy individual lives without fear and anxiety, therefore control your anxiety through tactics found HERE
- Practice makes perfect or so they say. Continue practicing on the thing that makes you insecure and boost your confidence along the way as you improve. Keep doing the thing that scares you and working at it until it doesn’t scare you anymore.
- A healthy body also means a healthy mind. Get active, get an exercise going and help increase that serotonin to boost confidence
- Deeply self analyze your own thoughts and your reactions and where they stem from, why they make you insecure, and who it is your really trying to impress
- Practice mindfulness, turn off your mind for a few minutes and away from thoughts and be present at the moment
- Practice positive self affirmations. We all have strengths and things we are good at, let yourself know that you are doing great! Practice self care, self-love, and positive affirmations. Admire the strengths you have.
- Always focus on your goals and what you are trying to achieve. Whatever happens (embarrassing or not) and whatever people say, remember it will bring you to where you are trying to be
- Do not compare yourself to others and your journey to others. You don’t truly know someones story and all they had to do to get to where they are at. Focus on yourself and yourself alone.
Anxiety and Lack of Confidence
Fear and anxiety lower confidence and self-esteem. Anxiety makes you overthink everything and makes you question yourself. Anxiety and lack of confidence go hand in hand.
Negative emotions pull further negative emotions. A reason for anxiety developing in the first place, after consistent stress and worry, is lack of confidence.
In order to boost confidence levels, one must work on their anxiety levels. That fear is what holds many people back from achieving exactly what they are striving for.
Confidence is what is needed to achieve success, win people over, sell products, get promotions, and achieve great love among many other things. It is what separates the great from the mediocre, it is what creates leaders and innovators.
With increased anxiety, it is hard to be confident. What is important to understand with confidence when we are not overthinking it, is that confidence does not stem from great abilities, great looks, and phenomenal skills.
Confidence is something anyone and everyone can possess. You do not have to be the best at something but you do have to have the humility to take the initiative in order to introduce success, leveling up, and achieving goals you set up for yourself.
Once you can get out of your mind and lead with your heart and, tune out the opinions of others, confidence is that final step to get you where you want to be. From big goals such as running a company to small goals such as achieving a 100 pound deadlift at the gym. Confidence makes people perform better at everything they do.
Natural Anxiety Reducers
It is your obligation to trial and error your way through the treatments that will help you in the long run, which my include multiple different treatments. Each person is different and their body and mind react differently.
Anxiety and lack of confidence are very closely tied together. In order to increase confidence levels, you must reduce anxiety as well. Confidence is an important feature to have.
It gives you the leverage to achieve what you had set out to achieve whether that is through work, career, fitness, nutrition, lifestyle, or love.
Anxiety is the barrier that prevents people from progressing and holds people back. It is the factor that has us overthink what we are doing and question ourselves.
It makes us over value the opinions of others, from strangers to loved ones. It is the sole reason why you are not where you wanted to be in your life. Less overthinking and more doing would yield better outcomes.
The fear of failure is a poor excuse. We all fail at things and that’s how we grow. If we do not confidently try, we will never know if we will fail or succeed.
You need the confidence to push yourself to do what you need to do. Once that occurs and failing is the end result, do not look at it as failure.
Look at it as a learned lesson, you learned something about this that you previously didn’t know, what works and what doesn’t. Maybe this “failure” opened your eyes to other ideas.
The most successful people, regardless of which facet you view success on, they have tried multiple different tactics and ideas to find the right solution for them to achieve greatness.
So work on decreasing your anxiety and boosting your confidence because that will ultimately lead to the greatest life satisfaction. The biggest life success and most valuable asset to have is happiness, because that is what life is truly about.